Do Not Let These People Near Heavy Machinery
As we were cleaning it out, we came across a black thing with a red button on it. At first we couldn't remember what it was. Then it occurred to one of us that it was something to ward off vicious stray dogs or animals or mashers. But we honestly could not remember what it was.
So, smart guy that I am [after all, I do have a PhD], I said,
So I pushed on the little red button. It didn't make a loud noise at all. Instead, it emitted a fine spray with some force toward one of the kitchen cabinets [yes, we did this indoors! You can see just how smart we really are....]. And then....
"Plug your ears, and I'll see if it still works."
Nothing happened. We realized this was supposed to be some sort of noxious spray, not a loud horn, but I guess we both thought it had lost its oomph. So then Ms. Eclectic [who is also pretty smart and also has a PhD] leaned over into the mist left from the spray and sniffed.
She gagged a bit. We realized the spray was mace or pepper or something noxious. Then it hit both of us. With a vengeance.
Coughing, choking, nausea, dripping mucous, you get the idea. What the heck is that stuff??
Damned short-term memory!
Later, a friend stopped by for a quick visit and wondered why we were sitting on the front veranda.