Questions and Answers about Retirement

For various reasons, I intend to work until I am 90 years old. However, Ms. Eclectic is retired and quite enjoying her life as a retiree. She recently sent me this list of questions and answers about retirement:

Q. When is a retiree's bedtime?
A. Three hours after they fall asleep on Couch.

Q. How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Only one, but it might take all day.

Q. What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
A. There is not enough time to get everything done.

Q. Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
A. The term comes with a 10% percent discount.

Q. Among retirees what is considered casual attire?
A. Tied shoes. [This one puzzles me. My experience has been that many retirees prefer slip-ons except for more formal occasions.]

Q. Why do retirees count pennies?
A. They are the only ones who have the time. [Ugh. It's consistent with my earlier items about getting rid of pennies.]

Q. What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
A. NUTS! [well..... What does that say about me?]

Q. Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
A. They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.

Q. What do retirees call a long lunch?
A. Normal

Q. What is the best way to describe retirement?
A. The never ending Coffee Break.

Q. What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
A. If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

Q. Why do retirees often say they don't miss work, but miss the people they used to work with?
A. They are too polite to tell the whole truth.