Wedding Website Selections

My younger son, Adam Smith Palmer, is getting married later this summer. I guess it is common among young couples to set up a website for friends, relatives, guests, others who might be interested. The website has information about the couple, about their plans, about the wedding day schedule, and some maps, photos, and other information. Here are some selections from his website [his fiancee claims to have had no involvement in the site to date].

Welcome to our BLESSED page. or else.
. . . . .[brief intro, followed by]
Anyway, explore the site, since I've got nothing more to say here. Sorry. Enjoy. or else.

On the "About Us Page":
Ok, there's nothing here yet. That will change at some point. You can check out `Our Story' though. Or whatever. Your call.

Wedding Day Details:
1:00: Ceremony
1:30 - 5:30: Free time. Explore, or nap, or shop, etc.
5:30 - 6:00 : Refreshments (fruit punch and champagne punch)
6:00ish : Buffet dinner. Eat! Free wine with dinner. Drink!
After dinner : Dancing, mingling, and drinking (open bar!)
7:30 : Go home.
7:31 : Realize Adam is an idiot and that the party is not over. Stay and dance and drink and mingle and co-mingle until sometime later (12 - 1:00 am or so).
After the above : Clean up. Grab and mop and bucket and broom. Make yourselves useful. Remember, slothfulness is a sin, regardless of whether or not it's an actual word.
After reading the line above : Snort in derision, then move on and ignore the line above.