Economics and the mid-life crisis have much in common: Both dwell on foregone opportunities

C'est la vie; c'est la guerre; c'est la pomme de terre . . . . . . . . . . . . . email: jpalmer at uwo dot ca

. . . . . . . . . . .Richard Posner should be awarded the next Nobel Prize in Economics . . . . . . . . . . . .

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Invite Me to be Your Graduation Speaker

This is an open solicitation.
I would like to give the commencement address at your school.
Here are some reasons you should invite me:
  1. I have a cap and gown that have been described as cool or sexy (click here to see a photo).
  2. I look very professional and academic with my gray beard and glasses.
  3. I have considerable experience listening to bad commencement addresses, so I know what not to do or say.
  4. I am an award-winning professor, with considerable acting and speaking experience.
  5. I promise not to cuss.
  6. I will charge no fees (until the demand increases considerably)
  7. I will pay my own transportation expenses, within reason
  8. You have your choice of opening lines (and topics):
  • "Never apply latex paint over glossy alkyd enamel," or
  • "There are no refunds for losing lottery tickets."
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